Codependent No More

Codependent No More

[how to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself]

eBook - 1988
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Overview of codependency, a response to individuals with alcoholism and other compulsive behaviors, and advice on how those affected by someone else's addiction can change their own controlling behavior.
Publisher: Mpls. [i.e. Minneapolis], MN : Metacom, p1988.
ISBN: 9781592857920
Branch Call Number: Downloadable Ebook
Characteristics: 1 online resource
Additional Contributors: HCPLC OverDrive

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Cheryl_in_IT Mar 07, 2019

This was recommended to me after divorce and it took a while to get around to reading.

With all self-help books, I feel that it is best to "take what works, and toss what doesn't." Because of this (or maybe just "reading while tired"), I missed some of the sore spots that hit other reviewers, but I did feel that some content was difficult to digest in relation to my own personality and history. It sparked reflection, which sometimes felt terrible, but it also gave me a little peace with my choices and life direction as well, so for that, I appreciated it.

I do think this is a good read if you have been in a relationship with someone struggling with addiction, or if you find yourself caught in the Karpman "rescuer-persecutor-victim" triangle. It was good to be made aware of patterns and behaviors. That said, she spends a lot of time diagnosing, but not a lot of time developing a treatment plan. More time could have been spent on that.

Mar 29, 2018

This book is utter, utter, junk. It is badly written, and based on a garbage idea that is extremely demeaning to women and to anyone not deeply embedded in acceptance of the white, Protestant culture from which the author comes. No psychologist of any repute works with this nonsensical non-science. As one reviewer correctly said, "codependency" is called being human. Being in any sort of relationship with someone with an addiction is *not* proof that you are "as sick as an addict". It is not a personal failing. It's just life, and people figure out how to handle it with integrity - without being judged and degraded by Melodie Beattie and her vicious adherents.

Actual, reputable research, done by those not stuck in their own narcissism and sense of utter rightness, disagrees with almost every single thing Melodie Beattie says. The book's stupidity is apparent everywhere: For example, she says that some percentage of those in support groups are overweight - to Melodie Beattie this is hard proof that they are sick! But...the percentage she gives is lower than the percentage of Americans on average who were overweight at the time the book was published. It never occurred to her to check those numbers? It never occurred to her that an awful lot of Americans are overweight, and not every single one of them is sick! Sick!??? How very, very *stupid*.

The real problem with this awful book, though, isn't it's sheer wrongness, but it's self-righteous battery of partners and other persons who know an addict. (Isn't that everyone?). This is an ugly, mean book whose ideas date from the bad old days of confrontation and tearing down the addicted - after which someone got the idea to do that to partners of the addicted too!

zentrixy Feb 16, 2016

This book is great. I found it extremely relatable. Got me thinking that the entire world is codependent. It's called being human.

Jun 20, 2013

Who's codependent.....not me. A real eye-opener. Melody Beattie explains the inexplicable. You have to be ready to hear what she has to say, ready to look at and see things differently ~ but if you are, it's a great book. You can't help but be changed after reading it. Who's codependent? Everyone, to some degree.

May 15, 2012

It looks okay. May be good for later reference.

Jul 31, 2011

Hoe do you access the there registration to the EBSCO site via the library? I don't see a place to register


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Sep 12, 2016

LearningEveryDay thinks this title is suitable for 18 years and over


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